Something different

As a child, I had a tendancy to stare at walls. I'd then realise it but remain in my state of motionlessness for several seconds, fascinated with this static position and almost perfect balance, as if it wasn't within my own power to keep my body up. I still do that though not as frequently and I feel the same way when I start drawing or writing for no apparent reason. I was sitting down listening to music and I wanted to grab a writing utensil and do something with it. I did so and the following is the product of complete random inspiration. Instead of blogging the usual blog, the thoughts fell onto the paper; thus spilt the blood of the consciousness. I do regret that I didn't use a gel pen- I love the feel of those.


I won't rise up with an air of confidence and call this "art." It would sound forced. I never meant this to be such. But I will say that this is a soothing exercise to escape despondency (or wallow in it for the satisfaction? I'm not sure; I haven't quite figured it out yet).

(I credit the genius of the Finn Brothers, Tim and Neil, as it was their songs that I was absorbed in.)

Free Hugs

I don't mean anything by this, but after a minute or two into the video, I observed that this guy looks not too unlike Jesus.

St. Francis, pray for us

If you never believed that you could remove a reluctant gecko out of a bathtub with a hanging strip of toilet tissue, well, take my word for it: you can, especially with the young, naive ones.

I'm not always composed but nor am I always jittery around insects, tiny animals and the like, but this time I think I had enough of being jittery and just wanted to relieve myself with a shower.

I had left my contacts on upon entering the tub. It probably would've saved me 15 minutes if I never had the clarity of vision and never noticed an unusual, tiny figure clutching to the tub wall near the shower curtain. But no, curiousity made me bend over to see just what this dark thing was that so contrasted against the dull egg-white.

Oh freak, it was that little fellow again (yes, I name all geckos "little fellow"). Running water does not seem to provide the little fellows any motivation to move out of the way. This one, however, was pathetically slipping toward the drain. I hurriedly shut the water off and looked around for something sturdy to push the little fellow away. (And, yes, this is where the slightly bothered side of me comes out and subdues my willingness to touch geckos.) With toilet tissue in hand, I deliberated its use and was resolved not to grasp the little fellow while it was alive and squirming. Instead, I let it dangle above the gecko to coax it out of the tub. It went everywhere but out. The tissue did manage to get wet enough to weigh some so I figured that perhaps a wet tissue would push the little fellow towards his way to freedom- it did! Sort of. With an exhasperated sigh, I pushed* him as far as he would allow and left the tissue hanging off the edge of the tub nearby, in case the little fellow decided to climb onto it. He decided not to. And that's when I decided that, gecko or no gecko, I felt like crap and needed a shower. So, I turned on the faucet full force and the thought of pushing the gecko with a shower spray flashed in my mind.

That was somewhat a mistake. Yes, I knew the water only made the little fellow slip but what if I could just angle the spray in a certain way, perhaps it would give the little fellow some leverage...

Um, no. The little fellow was not going up, but down. I thought I had killed him. All was going well until he slipped completely and fell right below the cascade of flowing water. He started to pale first. Uttering a few unchoice words, I shut off the water once again and nudged him with the toilet tissue. Faint movements. He's not dead. Thank goodness. I pushed him toward the tub wall again, and because of the wetness, it was easier this time round. I was finally able to push him up the tub wall because he was too weak to resist. I told him it was easier if he would just hold onto the tissue.

Unfortunately, the little fellow was a bit too pale to make me feel any better. I don't know if water makes gecko skin stickier, but the little fellow did glue well to the tissue and I was able to lift the poor guy out of the tub.

I then went on to complete my much needed shower. As I scrubbed my hair, I thought that perhaps I still might've noticed a blurry blob but choose to ignore it and proceed with my shower, and maybe it would've remained on the tub wall until I left. But those beady eyes... /shudder. No way. Little fellow was meant to exit tub in whatever way possible. I just hope that he somehow recovers and returns to his day job of eating unwanted house bugs.

*EDIT: I didn't so much as pushed him but rather dragged him with the dangling tissue. And about this whole incident of trying to get a gecko out of the bathtub, I am completely aware of it's wholesome stupidity.

Update.

Yay, I'm sure you were looking for this. /coughJoe. However, this might not be the sort of update you were expecting.

I'd been working on a side blog for a few days now and I've finally customised it enough that whenever I look at the format, I won't go "Hm. That title needs to move a bit to the left" or "Hm. I should change my link colours so they don't attract that much attention..." or "Hm. There's a conspicuous dot on my title! Argh!" I'm a nut.

I'm not getting rid of "the miniscule entity" but I am maintaining a separate journal for my travelling, which includes precluding events and personal thoughts. So, without further ado, please visit Remey goes to New Zealand.

P.S. A bit of insight on the blog address: "blind date with destiny" is derived from Crowded House's song "Mean to Me." The first few lyrics are as follows:

She came all the way from America
She had a blind date with destiny
And the sound of Te Awamutu
Had a truly sacred ring

I couldn't help relating to that song; it was amusing to me.

Star Wars Snoopy

Snoopy retells the story of Luke Skywalker in dramatic fashion.

Commence with the taking things for granted.

You know someone's been at a computer and on the I-net way too much when they know too well of this thing called Youtube.com and could talk about the the "celebs" there comprised of every-day people as if they were the neighbours down the street, as well as of the phenomenon of v-clogging (video clip logging). I admit to have been on a YT binge lately- I shudder to see myself and think how pathetic this girl is smirking, giggling or staring blankly at a monitor all night long. Yes! Wholly pathetic.

I was about to say how fascinating it is to see how a video website could bring together a global community that interacts with more than just the written/typed word. But then I thought, it is a bit cheesy to be writing about the wonders of the internet and that it is rather natural for human beings to be inclined to bond and interact by any means available anyway. So, it's really no big deal but deep down you know it's still somewhat...intriguing. Some may beg to differ, but we all very well know that people are entitled to their opinions and blah, blah. And now I've wasted a paragraph writing about taking back an idea. Inherently cheesy; I think that would be considered a newly discovered trait of mine.

I was watching the antics of various YouTubers and observed the very same actions I tend to do in my solitude: quirky faces, random blabberings, nonsensical tongue-twisters, the perpetual self-depreciation and those disclaimers of being a self-proclaimed dork after doing something odd. But that's just me- and a million other souls. See? No. Big. Deal.

However, the thing is that these very same antics of mine and others are shared with these certain "YouTubers" and judging by the thousands of views and subscriptions to their accounts, they've been getting pretty popular, enough to make it on TV. I'd never thought something as random, quirky, or just plain lame would make thousands or even millions of people so hooked onto these personalities. Or perhaps I just never thought that people would be able to interact visually and audibly with so many others around the world in a relatively inexpensive way. Even if the net never existed, and these very YouTubers and the people who seem to enjoy or hate their work were put in the same huge room, I'm sure they'd click just the same somehow. For some reason, I'm being reminded of public school. Ah, that little world inside the world.

Now enough of writing about this stuff that heaps of other people already discuss. Somehow, deep within the grey matter that is my brain, I feel like people are asking me questions in response to my posts, and in most cases it's most certainly myself. Would I be inspired to eventually do my own v-clogging? At the slightest hint of the word "bandwagon", no, I wouldn't and that's pretty much what has been keeping me from doing any video blogging. So many people do it now that it's not as unique anymore. Then again, so is "regular" blogging. So what the heck am I saying? I'm not sure, but it feels like regular blogging is a bit more discreet than v-clogging. I will admit that it might be interesting to do v-clogging because it's something different and maybe it will rub off on me eventually, just as blogging has. In the meantime, I will cherish my lack of fame- heaven knows how stupid and nasty the world can be when you do have a share of the limelight- and just alleviate the bottled-thoughts issue with myself via late-night journaling therapy. I abhor the thought of possibly having people recognise me on the street (or, heaven forbid, in the store during work) as one of those geeky (but uncool) people that post videos of themselves online and other weird stuff.

Caved-in

I'm kind of disappointed in the self-centered topic of late, only because I can momentarily forget everything else and be self-absorbed with my own problems. Which reminded me of how selfish we all are.

Not news, is it.

It's better to be awake at 1 am thinking about all this, that way the truth will simmer into your grey matter and really give you food for thought, or at least make you marinate in the realisation for a better effect, even if it's been discussed before.

People can get so inebriated with selfishness. They become addicted to it, that when they seem to make the slightest improvement by getting away from self-centered intentions, they have a hard time really getting away from themselves. I welcome days of lowliness, the hours of hopelessness and the harsh light of reality when striking words echo in my ears reminding me of all that I've forgotten or have failed to live up to when it comes to living like Christ. When that happens, my thoughts of irritation for everyday things and the depression of not being able to live my dreams resurfaces and begins to float away. My thoughts on those less fortunate than I make me wish I could do something to give them what I have. I can only do so much. Then I think about my ungratefulness towards God and the suffering He continually goes through , which I witness everytime I step out of my door and into the busy world. Time and time again, I'm reminded of how hard it is to follow in His footsteps.


Slightly aside from the topic: I like blogging in the middle of the night- it's extremely quiet, it's like you've died or you're the only one alive in the world and you're alone with God and your thoughts. I can see why they say that one of the best ways to pray is to just be silent.

J+M+J

Shallowness

I hate how I am made of some of the things I hate. I love it when I can enter a medium that allows me to truly be the things that are both who I am and who I want to be.

[disclaimer: no, this is not a pity party]

Lately, I've been rediscovering my shallowness in public. I'm going to restrain myself from feeling resentful towards those who seem to keep up a "good" image of being cool, wittily but bluntly honest, and not wishy-washy because they shouldn't be my problem (yet I just implied it by typing it out anyway, hah- coping mechanism). Besides, almost everyone is liable to have some level of shallowness. I confess to like being witty with a tad bit of sarcastic humour and blunt honesty but I'm not always like that by impulse. Which makes me wonder if that's just how I truly am: awkward, ditzy, not quick-witted. I guess I am, but I also possess the ability to exist at the opposite end of the spectrum, therefore I'm both, just not simultaneously. But why does it bother me that what I don't like to be comes out when I don't see it (or anything) coming? Why can't I accept who I am at the moment and take relief in the fact that I'm not always in an unpreferrable state all the time? Sure, so certain sides of me come out when the moment is right and when I, to some degree, can control it, but which is more me: what I do by impulse, or what I am able to do consciously?

I'd like to remember to be firm against those stupid, immoral jokes at work and trash my impulsive grin that seems so willing to emerge without my consent.

I am a hypocrite. I want to practice my moral beliefs at all times, but I don't. I guess, at the back of my mind, I also want other people to know this or at least understand, fearing that I might leave a lasting bad impression upon those with whom I could actually relate to. I am truly pathetic :P

Oh well. Onward, soldier for self-confidence and defender of dignity!