The worst enemy is ones self

So true. Way too true.

I often wondered how people heard voices in their heads. They tend to say they hear them as clearly as someone speaking to them in the same room, but I wonder if it's not always that way.

A lot of it is probably in my own head, but it's somewhat frightening when I do things or say something so impulsively or suddenly and then I stop and stand or sit still, realising what I just did. Don't tell me everyone does that.

I'm starting to dread being alone, yet I treasure it at times. Once there isn't another soul in sight, I can almost feel like I'm torturing myself with my thoughts. I try conversing with my guardian angel, but I've lost the childlike innocence of doing such a thing. I'm way too introverted at this point. Negative or embarrassing memories wash over the brain and it literally causes my face to twist in disgust. It gets to the point of even muttering 'shut up' or some expletive to the thought that I hope no one else overhears this inward conversation. Kind of scary. It is trying just to forget things.

At first I wondered why I also felt this disturbing feeling in public, then I realised I am alone when I'm in public. Of course, the self-conversations end for obvious reasons (though, now and then if it's bad enough, I might slip in a "shoots" or two).

Been wasting some time writing thing- back to studies.