Thoughts.

I've been talking to my parents for some time now and constantly thinking about my future. A heck of a lot of thought has definitely been put into all that. TAC has been the number one list on my colleges for a long time now, but there have been some things that've caused me to reconsider, not out of interest but more out of necessity, so to speak.

Dad's been showing me the family budget, and frankly, it's not pretty. I admit to the fact that my family hasn't always been too well off, and we're only barely comfortable where we are right now through God's good grace. For a poor girl like me to manage TAC, it would take a whole lot of sacrifice. Hardwork and sacrfice; they'll always be there, but I can't help that my family will still be affected by any choice I'll make. I can't put my family through another financial difficulty, no matter how much I'd love TAC's education for my own good. I'm sure God will provide for me in other ways, as far as growing both spiritually and intellectually with prayer, and I'm still quite glad that I've gotten to know the TACers that I know now. You guys are lovely people. But I feel that it's probably not God's will for me to attend TAC; if it would, I wouldn't have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind thinking about how it would be difficult for me to handle the financial stress, academics, dealing with my family living overseas, and then some other family concerns that I can't mention here, but are of some degree of seriousness. Like I said, sacrfices must be made, but in this case, I should for the sake of my family's welfare in the near future, especially with two more siblings behind me.

Ah, c'est la vie.

So, yeah, for those of you who've been encouraging me to attend TAC, of course I'd attend if my life would allow, but as it is: God's will be done. I'll be sure to keep in touch with you all though. Continue to give me insight on TAC and what you all come up with as you study there; I'd still love to hear/read what goes on and what you discuss.

As for what I'm thinking about right now, I''ve considered that I'll have to do with the University of Maryland campus on base here. I'll do with the most accessible college I can get, and whatever courses they've got to offer, which would most likely be Computer Studies. My family has two more years here before we're subject to move again, but in the meantime, there are accelerated courses that are offered here so those I can take advantage of while I continue to reside with the family.

Speaking of moving, we have no idea where we'll end up next. 3/5th of the family wants to move to Hawaii. Reasons being: it's centrally located in the Pacific for hops to several locations of interest, it is a State, Dad's got Hickam AFB, family is nearby, it's a rather nice place -- though expensive, but most places are nowadays anyway -- to live in for a long time, and since it's in the Pacific and we're Pacific Islanders, we'll get along fine without this feeling of being much out of place like we've felt elsewhere before. Prayer is in order for all this though, so that's a given and will be done.

But anyway, we'll see what else God's got in store for us on the road ahead.

[edit: my decision is not resolute. I hate it when it gets that way, but in this case, it indicates hope.]